


First Kiss

by Velika_Azure_Wing



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Steve Rogers, Coming Out, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pansexual Tony Stark, Rating is because I used the f-word 3ish times, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25329709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velika_Azure_Wing/pseuds/Velika_Azure_Wing
Summary: Steve tries to fit in to a new world, but he struggles. Some things are hard to talk about when you've been hiding for so long.
Relationships: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

Steve Rogers had a hard time settling in. He was good at hiding it, sure, but that didn't mean it wasn't true. 

The future was just so different. I mean, it was the same in a lot of ways, but different enough to still geel alien. It was like looking at really good CGI, seeing something so convincingly real that for a moment you think it might be only for that moment to end when you notice some little detail. It could be anything, that little detail. It could be the way a facial expression sits, the way a hair or a hand moves, maybe it's the over smoothness of the skin, or maybe you can't tell what it is but you just know that it's wrong anyway. The future made Steve feel like that.

There were things he liked, increased human rights, beter healthcare, and the lack of a world war, to name a few. There were things he didn't like, the growing gap between the rich and the poor, that nazi's were still a thing, and the general distance between people. The hardest thing though, was that he'd lost the people that he knew and loved, all of them, in one fell swoop. He tried to distract himself by looking at the people around him. 

Thor caught his attention first, probably because he was a norse god. Thor was loud and vibrant. His headstrong nature and archaic speach patterns could sometimes make his seem thick or unintelligent but after spending time with him Steve realized he was sharp as a whip. Thor reminded him of some of the more roudy a boisterous soldiers from the Commandos which was nice, but still hurt sometimes. Also, it was nice to not be the only one confused by future technology. 

Clint Barton a.k.a Hawkeye was an interesting one. Steve had been introduced to him as a foe, but had shortly thereafter fought with him as an ally. Clint had been pretty serious at first, but the farther they got from the Battle of New York in time, the more he opened up. Hawkeye had a wicked sense of humor and could be just as loud as Thor when he wanted to be, but he was just as reserved when the occasion found him. He learned that Clint was deaf and soon after he'd started learning ASL. Steve wasn't exactly sure what he thought of Clint but he knew he liked him.

Dr. Bruce Banner a.k.a the Hulk was almost walking poetry to Steve. If there was ever a being who better represented the duality of man, Steve would be hard pressed to believe it. Bruce was quiet, reserved, and always a rational voice. He was smart enough to keep up with Tone Stark, which Steve felt should mean something. Sometimes Steve would meditate with the doctor when he was feeling overly stressed or nostalgic. The Hulk, on the other hand, was chaotic and aggressive. He acted on impulse, but impulse wasn't always bad. Steve had a harder time relating to the large green monster, partly because he wasn't out much and partly because he didn't seem like much of a people person, but he tried anyway. 

Natasha Romanov a.k.a the Black Widow was probably the closest thing to a friend Steve had. She was capable, powerful, and quick witted. In a way she reminded him of Peggy, but she lacked her softer, more refined qualities. She scared Steve a little. She seemed like the type who could enter a room with the intent to kill you and you'd never know. At least with Peggy you knew when she intended to kill you. Despite his reservations, however, Steve found himself put at ease woth Natasha's gentle laugh, her knowledge beyond her years, and her eyes which never seemed to miss a thing. She proved to be a good confidant wjo always seemed to know exactly when he needed to talk. 

Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man was something of an enigma to Steve. In some ways he was so blatantly Howard's son, but he seemed to have built himself in antithesis to his father. As much as Tony was brilliant, charming, and handsome he was also arrogant, competitive to a fault, and stubborn enough to give Steve a run for his money. Their relationship had a rocky start. Eventually though they came to something of an understanding. Sometimes though, Tony would get under Steve's skin in a way that no one else could, or find a way to make him laugh at the most inappropriate timing. Steve wondered to himself what it was about Tony, and then the man smiled down at a newly finished project while covered in grease stains like he'd just created the best thing in the world and suddenly Steve knew. He also knew that answer was going to stay a secret until the day he died. 

Steve knew about tje progress the LGBTQ community had made. He'd been given a pamphlet or two and done a little digging on his own. That didn't change the fact that he'd grown up in the 40s. Old habits die hard and he really wasn't ready to let go.

Logically he figured someone like Natasha or Bruce weren't likely to care. Clint would probably be fine too, and if he wasn't he probably wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Thor was an alien so he was a wild card. Tony though, Steve had found old newspapers suggesting Tony was a member of the community, but those were only rumors and Steve really did not want to have that kind of a conversation with him. 

A little while in to this new endeavor known as the Avengers, Tony decided to throw a party. Steve wasn't exactly sure what it was for only that it was supposedly small for Tony but would be pretty big for Steve. He really wasn't looking forward to it. 

He dressed nice but avoided a suit as hed been told fancy casual by Natasha, then he'd panicked and had her pick his outfit for him. There was music playing and the penthouse level was filled with a mix of people, most of whom he'd never seen before. He started to take account of the crowd what his thoughts were interrupted by one Tony Stark with Clint Barron at his side.

Clint shoved a glass in his face and said, "Drink this."

At Steve's questioning look he elaborated. "Thor just showed up with this Asgardian mead and he won't let us have any bit he said you could because you were the only one who could handle it. So drink it because I wanna see if he can get you drunk."

"I didn't drink much to begin with so I think I'll pass-" Steve started to say before Tony cut him off.

"Come on, Stevie. If you don't drink it I will and I can only imagine what this would do to me." Stark gave him a fox grin. 

Steve sighed and resisted the urge to roll his eyes before begrudgingly playing along and talking the glass. He gave it a curious sniff before downing the drink. He didn't like alchohol but he didn't want to have to carry it gor the rest of the night. Whatever his reasoning, it was a mistake. The drink was strong and he could even feel a slight buzz start to kick it.

"Huh," he said. "I guess it works." 

"Fuck yeah," Tony said begore vanishing into the crowd. 

Twenty minutes later, Steve had just about had it was Stark's showboating and people swarming around him asking very personal questions about his time displacement and the war and everything he'd lost and about the ice. Even worse, he was supposed to sit through another two hours of this. Against his better judgment, Steve went to get another drink.

He woke up in his room with a pounding headache, and even worse, absolutely no idea how he'd gotten from the party to here. He groaned. It had been a while since the last time he'd gotten blackout drunk and he'd sworn never to do it again. 

He forced himself out of bed and seriously hoped he hadn't done anything too embarrassing. He busied himself with taking a shower, brushing his teeth, and combing his hair. He'd just set the tooth brush down when he hearn a knock at his door. He walked to the door and curiously opened it. 

"Stark?" He asked. 

"Yeah, hi," Tony said. It was odd. Stark looked a little sheepish, if Steve had to place it. 

"Did you want something?"

"Yeah, about last night-"

Steve hurriedly cut him off and said, "Look, Tony, if it was something I did, I'm sorry, and if it was something you did, I honestly don't remember."

Tony looked up at him. "You don't remember? I guess that makes sense, you were pretty drunk."

Tony looked back down and dragged his shoe across the carpet. "That's gonna make this harder to talk about." 

"Make what harder to talk about? Tony, what happened?"

In way of answer Tony slipped past Steve and into his room. 

"I like what you've done with the place," he commented as he took a seat on the edge of Steve's bed.

Cautiously, Steve joined him. Tony opened his mouth like his was going to say something and then didn't. He blew out a deep breath and then turned to face Steve. 

"I'm just gonna go for it I guess. Steve, do you like men?"

He couldn't help but flich away at the question. Oh, fuck no. He was not having this conversation right now with this person. 

"Of course not," he answered. "I was in love with Peggy remember?"

"That doesn't mean you can't like men," Tony said. 

"I know that." His reply came a little to sharply. "Why are you even asking?"

"Steve, you kissed me last night." 

He froze at those words. For a moment, all he could see was an image of a young man beaten and bloody in a back alley because he'd been caught near a gay bar. He forced his body to obey him and turn back to face the man next to him. 

"I'm sorry." He hated how his voice wavered when he spoke. 

"I'm not mad."

"Okay."

"I just wanted to talk about it."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to make sure you were okay and because I wanted to know if you were into me."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you think I'm not okay?" It's not the question Steve meant but it's what he said. 

"Well," Tony paused. "Well, I know how hard it was for me and I grew up, like, 20 years ager you. I just thought it might be kinda difficult for you to get used to being in a world where that's okay, or more okay than it was."

Steve took a shaky breath. "I grew up in a gay neighborhood. That's not really how people said it back then but it's what they meant. We had a lot of folks who were, ouside the norm. Saw a lot of bad things happen to them when other people found out."

"Steve-" 

"I'm not done."

"Okay."

"I liked her because she was like me. Peggy Carter. She was stronger than I'll ever be but she was like me in a lot of ways, cept she wasn't scared of it like I was. I thought I must be sick or wrlng in some way, but a woman like that can't be twisted or broken like I could so if it was in her...'

'She told me that the serum fixed everything wrong with my body so if it really was a sickness, the serum would've gotten rid of it. I didn't need that though, because I had her. She was like me. We fell in love. She told me she'd always imagined herself with a woman but she guessed that I'd do in a pinch." Steve smiled at the memory. 

"I know it's not wrong, Tony, but that doesn't mean I'm not still scared of what it means, of what I might be if I was okay with it." Steve looked at him. "I genuinely loved her, you know? It was real." 

"Of course it was, Steve." 

"I-I like men too." 

"So do I." 

Steve looked down at his hands. "I'm the leader. I'm not supposed to make advances on my team. I'm sorry, Tony."

"Steve," Tony set a hand on his shoulder. "You didn't hurt me. You didn't impose, and you certainly didn't make unwanted advances."

Steve looked up at him. Tony laughed. 

"I like you, Rodgers. I don't know why, but I do. It's okay if you don't want to have that kind of a relationship, but I'm offering if you do." 

"Ive never even kissed a man...that I remember."

"You could kiss me." 

Steve took a breath. No time like the present. He leaned in slowly, giving the other man time to pull away. Tony held still, letting Steve come to him. 

He pressed his lips to Tony's. He was gentle and soft in his movements. Tony tasted like coffee and sweat. He smiled like cologne and metal. His beard was rough and scratchy. He was so different from Peggy, but it was still good, still right. Steve pulled away and looked into the warm brown eyes of the man before him. He let out a small breath. 

"Huh," Steve whispered. "So that's what I've been missing."

"You enjoy it?" Tony quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah. You?"

"Of course I did. I just kissed Captain America. So what do you say, Steve. Are we doing this?" 

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys should I do a second chapter from Tony's pov? Also feel free to let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony Stark was a man of the future. He was constantly moving, constantly pushing forward. The past served only to show him what not to so and to give him something to improve upon. He knew it would one day drag him into its depths and he fought to set in motion a future he might never see. 

A twist in his life he never saw coming was the Avengers. They were an eclectic bunch. They clashed in so many ways but, by some miracle, it worked. 

Tony insisted they set up shop in his tower. Where else would they go? It even had the "A" already emblazoned on it. 

Of the Avengers, Tony found himself getting on with them in a variety of of ways. He was always a people person so he was pretty sure they all at least liked him. Some he might even concider his friends. 

Thor was a funny one. Knowing an alien who was also a norse god was pretty cool in Tony's book. Plus, he was a looker. What could Tony say, he has a thing for tall badasses with light hair.Thor was woefully ignorant in some areas and brilliant in others. Tony would kill to get his hands on Asgardian technology. 

Natasha was honestly kinda terrifying, and also kinda hot. She was cool, collected and confident. She also never put up with any of Tony's shit, which was useful but also very annoying. Tony felt a bit conflicted with her and he really didn't like how easily she could read him. So, he tended to give her her space.

Clint was fun. He always played well off of all of Tony's jokes. He always had interesting new ideas for arrows and Tony loved the challenge. Clint was also somewhat aloof. He rarely talked about his past, which was fine, Tony didn't either. Still, the inventor liked being in the know. All in all, Clint was a guy to go to for a good time in Tony's book.

Bruce was probably Tony's favorite person aside from Pepper and Rhodey and probably Jarvis if he counted as a person; Tony voted maybe to that one. Bruce was the calm to Tony's enthusiasm. He was the reason to Tony's madness. They made a great team. The Hulk fascinated Tony to no end. What was the reason for him? How could he be contained or controlled. Could he be reasoned with? Banner didn't seem to know but Tony was damned if they weren't gonna find out. 

Then there was Steve, the one and only Captain America. God, what to say about Steve. For one thing, he was annoying as all hell. He had a permanent stick up his ass and was almost robotic in his rule following, but he was a good man. He was certainly more gentle than Tony had ever imagined he would be. He could be remarkably soft and sweet. He certainly wasn't the bastion of agressive manliness that Tony had been led to believe he was, not to say he wasn't much of a man. No, Steve was probably more of a man than anyone Tony had ever met before, and god, wasn't that attractive. 

Of course, if Tony ever caught himself day dreaming about the Star Spangled Man With a Plan, he kept it to himself. Steve was also probably the most painfully heterosexual person Tony had ever met. Plus, he was from the 40's so who knows what he might think about another man having feelings for him. It was best to not risk it. 

A few months into the Avengers experiment, Tony thought it was time to get his investors sold on the idea to prove he wasn't wasting valuable company time. What better way to do that than with a party? 

He invited the whole team. It wouldn't be difficult to get them to look impressive. They were basically the most kick ass group on the block. Still, he put a word in for them to bring a little razzle dazzle. 

The party was fairly relaxed, nothing too fancy. It was more of a meet and greet, after all. Thor probably didn't know what razzle dazzle meant but he interpreted it as "bring the best ale" and that's exactly what he did. Of course he wouldn't let anyone one have any, except for Steve. 

When he heard that Clint said, "Oh, we have got to get Rodgers to chug some of this!"

While they didn't get him to chug it, they did get him to drink a glass. It was a great moment, but Tony had hands to shake and people to charm so he continued on his way.

About an hour into it, he stepped away to a back room to freshen up and was surprised to se Steve there. He was sitting in an old chair Tony mostly kept for sentimental value. He had a glass in his hand and was casually running a finger across it's rim. He didn't look up when Tony entered the room. 

"Hey, Capsicle. Taking a break from your adoring fans?" Tony asked. 

"Tony Stark," Steve mumbled.

"Sorry, what was that?" 

"I said," Steve slurred, "Tony Stark, the man of of the hour. Always out there peacocking infront of everyone. Always getting them to look at you like you're so beautiful." 

"Steve, are you drunk?"

Steve stood up. "And you are, you know? You're so fucking beautiful."

"Um, thank you?" Tony was starting to feel a little concerned. Since when was Captain America drunk?

Steve slowly walked towards him. "It really annoys me how beautiful you are. It's like, here I am living my life, and then there you are taking my breath away."

"Steve?" Tony took a slight step back. 

"I just... I'd been doing so good. I'd had a hold on it until you. It would have been so easy to just be normal if it wasn't for you." 

"Wait, Steve, are you- are you alright?"

Steve stepped up and took a handful of Tony's shirt. "God, I want to be. Maybe she was right. I'm tired of pretending."

"Steve?" Tony asked, placing a calming hand on Steve's arm. "Are you coming out to me?" 

"I think so. I think I'm doing this too," Steve whispered. 

Suddenly his mouth was on Tony's. For a moment his mind blanked. Steve was all warmth, burning like furnace. The kiss was sloppy and he tasted of alchohol, but Tony had had worse and this was Captain America. This was a teenage fantasy come true, but no. Steve was drunk. He definitely wasn't in full control of his actions and who knew if he'd regret this in the morning. 

Tony gave a slight push against him and Steve pulled away and stepped back. Tony sighed and bid the captain good night and had Jarvis make sure he got to his room undisturbed. Then, he went a put on a damn good performance for the rest of the party. 

The next morning, Tony sat drumming his fingers on his desk. He barely got any sleep the night before, which wasn't altogether uncommon. What was uncommon was that Steve was the only thing he could think about. 

"Jarvis call Pepper," Tony said suddenly. 

"Yes, Tony?" Pepper's tired voice answered. "What do you need?" 

"Sorry, Pep. I know it's early. I just wanted your advice on a bit of a dilemma I'm having." 

"Which is?"

"Someone kissed me last night."

"How is that a dilemma? It's hardly rare."

"It was a guy."

"Again, not uncommon."

"Yeah but I like him, Pep, and he's on the team." 

"Oh. Okay. What's the problem with that?"

"He was drunk when he did it and I'm pretty sure he's not out to anyone yet." Tony fiddled with a pen at his desk. "Do I pursue it or pretend it never happened?"

Pepper sighed. "You should talk to him, Tony. If it involved him, then it's not up to just you what happens from here. Now, goodbye. I have to get ready for work."

She hung up. Tony stayed still for a moment, contemplating her words.

"For what it's worth, Sir," Jarvis spoke up. "I agree with Miss Potts."

Tony got up and made his way to Steve's room. The entire way he thought about turning back, but Pepper and Jarvis were right. This needed to happen. He steeled his nerves and knocked on Steve's door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Here's part two. Let me know what you thought and if you have any requests for the future.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, should I do a second chapter from Tony's pov? Also, feel free to let me know what you think.


End file.
